What is worth wanting? Bonnie Wan on Trauma, Transformation, and Courage

This week, I talk with Bonnie Wan, a trailblazing strategist who spent 30 years in advertising, eventually becoming a partner and Head of Brand Strategy at Goodby Silverstein & Partners. She earned Ad Age’s Chief Strategy Officer of the Year award, but perhaps her most impactful work is The Life Brief—a tool she developed to transform her own life, which became the foundation of her book. We explore Bonnie’s remarkable journey—from immigrating from Taiwan and overcoming bullying and abuse to rising to the top of her field. We also dive into the power of brand storytelling as a force for good, including a national campaign she led to prevent child pornography online. Finally, we discuss Bonnie’s current career transition and what it means to embrace change as a lifelong practice. If you’ve ever questioned your path or felt trapped by your success, Bonnie’s story will challenge and inspire you. Let’s get to it!

In this episode:

(00:00) - Intro
(04:01) - Bonnie discovers her dark sense of humor
(07:34) - Wanting to belong
(14:23) - Confronting difficult childhood memories as an adult
(20:03) - The power of storytelling and writing
(24:31) - Why is practice so important?
(28:33) - "I am committed to" vs "I am a commitment to"
(33:53) - Somatic sensory experience
(39:36) - What is worth wanting?
(47:47) - Where lasting change comes from
(53:31) - How a moment of vulnerability redefined Bonnie's leadership
(01:04:35) - Pay gaps and gender bias
(01:12:22) - How Bonnie became a strategist
(01:16:58) - The most meaningful ad campaign that Bonnie has worked on
(01:23:55) - That moment Bonnie found out she was being made a partner
(01:29:05) - How Bonnie knew it was time to move on
(01:30:17) - The shift from career to vocation
(01:34:24) - Bonnie's most beautiful future
(01:35:53) - Who Bonnie is becoming

Key Takeaways

Belonging is a Deep Human Need: Bonnie Wan shares her personal journey of longing for belonging as an immigrant, illustrating how the need for connection and acceptance shapes our identities. She highlights how her early experiences of feeling invisible led her to develop a strong sense of humor as a way to connect with others. Her story underscores the universal human desire to be seen and valued.
Owning Our Stories is Key to Healing and Growth: Bonnie emphasizes the importance of confronting and integrating past experiences, including trauma, racism, and family struggles, to move forward in life. She discusses how disassociation was a survival mechanism for her and how only by facing her past did she find her voice and power. She encourages others to acknowledge and own their stories rather than suppress them.
Transformation Requires a Commitment to Deep Work: Bonnie introduces The Life Brief as a practice, not just a tool, for aligning one’s inner and outer life. She argues that real transformation comes from regular self-examination and the willingness to ask deeper questions like, What do I really, really want? and What is worthy of wanting? She challenges listeners to move beyond goal-setting and commit to personal growth.
There Is a Cost to Fitting In: Bonnie shares her realization that she had spent much of her career assimilating into a system that was not built for people like her. She discusses the moment she broke down in a partner meeting, realizing that she had internalized the idea that success required staying silent about inequities. Her story is a call to action for professionals to examine how they might unconsciously uphold unjust systems.
Real Change Comes from Relationships, Not Just Solutions: Bonnie argues that true equity and transformation happen through deepening relationships rather than just implementing surface-level solutions. She shares how shifting her leadership approach—prioritizing direct relationships with underrepresented employees—helped her better understand and address systemic barriers in the workplace.

Quotes

“ When you don't have power, you don't have voice, authority, agency, credibility. And really awful things can happen. You kind of end up invisible, disappearing. There's no one there to take care of your actual needs.” ~ Bonnie Wan

“Language is so important. Writing to uncover what we’ve buried inside, letting the pen lead, not planning the writing. I’m always surprised what comes out of my pen.” ~ Bonnie Wan

“ If it was easy, it wouldn't be creative. And I think that's the hardest thing about being a creator—you have to mine deeper. You have to ask more penetrating questions. You have to sit with those questions. Let them stir. If there were easy answers, then it's not going to ever break through.” ~ Bonnie Wan

“We have really overemphasized comfort and convenience, and defined happiness with those two terms.” ~ Bonnie Wan

“[Lasting change] only happens when we allow ourselves to meet relationship and connection with curiosity—not fear or bias or judgment or assumptions—when we can really lean into the curiosity, and particularly in the moments that frustrate us, and we can stay there and want to learn more, want to know more. That's where bridges are built.” ~ Bonnie Wan

Links